on halloween this year my husband agreed to 4 more years in the army, altho in reality i know we have a minimum of 12 more years in this life style it still was bitter sweet! i am so home sick its not even funny and all tho last year around this time i was accused of putting my family on blast (which i still feel i didn't) i freaking miss every single one of them. i miss them on birthdays and holidays and even days in between. i miss family members that i have not seen in over 5 years... and people that i didn't realize had such an impact on me as a person! even if it was family members i only saw 2-3 times a year (or less) i feel like I'm missing those connections and i hate that my boys are not able to make those types of relationships! they don't even know what a cousin is.... i think about how so many of them have changed and it makes me sad knowing how fast time passes when you are not in it.
gosh i don't even know how to put into words all the feelings i have with out someone thinking I'm taking a stab at them but in all honestly i just want everyone who gets to spend this time of year with extended family to truly cherish it and soak up every minute of it!
its crazy to me the babys of my generation are in collage and making something amazing out of them selves!! not that i regret my family and getting married young because i don't... i just wish i could say i had a degree under my belt so you could say I'm jealous of my little cousins pursuing that life! there are babies in my boys' generation i don't get to enjoy and cousins their age they don't get to build a relationship with. and that just sucks! theres no better word for it
at the same time i miss germany and the life style and oh my goodness the holidays over there are so amazing and i wish i could experience that every year.
there are so many open doors in Brett's career right now i just ask for prayers that God has his hand in it... no matter where we end up or what brett ends up doing on a day to day basis i just Pray its where God wants us and needs us to be in our life. would i prefer the option that would put us close to home and amazing friends... yes. but sometimes thats not how it works and if we are meant to be in another location for brett to have the most out of the opportunities that he is presented with then i need to be happy and comfortable with that.
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