Dear Kaleb,
3 years ago today you graced this world and my life! i look back on everything and i just cry tears of joy for the love i have for you. i can only hope that some day you will have the joy to love your own son or daughter as i have loved you. You were born on September 6th 2009 at the hospital at Fort Riley Kansas. it was a VERY foggy morning and i was yelling at your daddy to drive faster. You share a birthday to someone very special to me, your GG! She is a wonderful loveing and caring person and she loves you very much! you have been through 2 deployments with daddy and 2 houses so far. your so smart and have an attitude to boot but i love that about you. i mean you do come by it naturally, this mama dose not let anyone tell her what to do ;). with all that being said you are so kind spirited and i know you will be a wonderful husband and daddy in the very FAR Future. I might get short tempered with you and i might get upset but i just want you to know that i love you with all my heart and i always will. you will always be my son! Happy 3rd birthday baby boy and i hope you had a fantastic one!
Love Mommy
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
ooo boy
boys, boys, boys
do i really need to say more?
anyone that knows me, knows that i DO NOT keep a clean house... call me lazy, call me gross, call me anything you want, but until you live a day with my boys no make that a week with my boys your opinion about me and how i run my house will mean nothing to me. do i want a clean house? YES do i have space for everything? NO have i given up?... in a since i have. i just flat out don't care anymore! 2 months behind us that brett has been gone and i have to say this has been a different deployment then before. I would not say harder and i would not say easier i would just say different.
Im trying to get information about putting Kaleb into German Kindergarten becasue its from 8-5 and its only 100 euros a month... where as if i put him in the program on post its $400 a month and its only half day every day. I really think Kaleb needs that time with other kids and i think Jourdon needs that alone time. UGH i dont know. I as well am trying to get school started back up again... darn school and student loans and CRAP! we shale see i guess.
other then school for me and Kaleb, things are just going... cant wait for PWOC to start back up... it breaks up the week a bit and helps with the repetitiveness that has become my life
well thats all for now.
do i really need to say more?
anyone that knows me, knows that i DO NOT keep a clean house... call me lazy, call me gross, call me anything you want, but until you live a day with my boys no make that a week with my boys your opinion about me and how i run my house will mean nothing to me. do i want a clean house? YES do i have space for everything? NO have i given up?... in a since i have. i just flat out don't care anymore! 2 months behind us that brett has been gone and i have to say this has been a different deployment then before. I would not say harder and i would not say easier i would just say different.
Im trying to get information about putting Kaleb into German Kindergarten becasue its from 8-5 and its only 100 euros a month... where as if i put him in the program on post its $400 a month and its only half day every day. I really think Kaleb needs that time with other kids and i think Jourdon needs that alone time. UGH i dont know. I as well am trying to get school started back up again... darn school and student loans and CRAP! we shale see i guess.
other then school for me and Kaleb, things are just going... cant wait for PWOC to start back up... it breaks up the week a bit and helps with the repetitiveness that has become my life
well thats all for now.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
FAIL!
so me posting at least 3 times a week through this deployment was going good... until about 6 weeks ago when i posted my last blog HA! so back to it...
updates:
Jourdon i talking SO much more now, saying hello, bye-bye, more, please, thank you, mommy, daddy, Kaleb (which comes out Laleb), hold it, elmo, here go (meaning here you go), and many many many more. he even trys to say i love you but when he says it there are no consonants in the words lol
Kaleb is a fish! we went to the schwimbad (pool) yesterday and he was swimming in 5 foot deep water with just one arm floatie, the other one poped and he refused to take the good one off. HAHA. he also has an attitude to boot. his potty training is just that still training. we have our good days and our bad... it weighs heavily on me tho.
after 8 weeks of brett being gone i think we are FINALLY getting into our groove... Kaleb still tells me he misses daddy, this was SO much easier when Kaleb was only 10 days old and knew nothing had changed. the only thing that still sucks is groceries... bringing them up 3.5 flights of stairs (71 stairs to be exact) with a 1.5 year old that sometimes will and sometimes wont walk up the stairs by him self (i dont blame him) Mornings are the best, the boys actually play together with NO fighting for a good 2 hours and leave me alone :) I also love night time when we read stories before bed.
Other than that everything here on the home front is going good until next time (hopfully later this week)
God Bless
updates:
Jourdon i talking SO much more now, saying hello, bye-bye, more, please, thank you, mommy, daddy, Kaleb (which comes out Laleb), hold it, elmo, here go (meaning here you go), and many many many more. he even trys to say i love you but when he says it there are no consonants in the words lol
Kaleb is a fish! we went to the schwimbad (pool) yesterday and he was swimming in 5 foot deep water with just one arm floatie, the other one poped and he refused to take the good one off. HAHA. he also has an attitude to boot. his potty training is just that still training. we have our good days and our bad... it weighs heavily on me tho.
after 8 weeks of brett being gone i think we are FINALLY getting into our groove... Kaleb still tells me he misses daddy, this was SO much easier when Kaleb was only 10 days old and knew nothing had changed. the only thing that still sucks is groceries... bringing them up 3.5 flights of stairs (71 stairs to be exact) with a 1.5 year old that sometimes will and sometimes wont walk up the stairs by him self (i dont blame him) Mornings are the best, the boys actually play together with NO fighting for a good 2 hours and leave me alone :) I also love night time when we read stories before bed.
Other than that everything here on the home front is going good until next time (hopfully later this week)
God Bless
Monday, July 9, 2012
when my husband leaves, and more of Nana's visit
I've always said when my husband leaves all hell breaks loose. the DAY he left my car decided not to start, this was MAYBE 15 minutes after i had said "ill see you later" to him. luckily i have AMAZING friends and it was an easy fix and had it done within 2 hours! then the sealing on my window of the drivers side window is out and the window won't close all the way. the sealing on my door to my house is coming off the screen door to the balcony is broken AND since brett left 3 lights in my house has gone out... really!?! this better mean I'm getting all the crap out of the way and the rest of this deployment will be a good one.
this is my boys kissing daddy before getting on the bus... i now have this as a 11x14 picture i LOVE it!
since Nana has been here we have been every where in Bamberg and trying to get out of bamberg for a bit but the dang rain has proven to be an issue. my house is also very clean and for those of you that don't know me, I'm not a clean freak AT ALL! Ive taken Nana and the boys to down town bamberg, the Bamberg Dome, Saint Michael's church, Altenburg fortress, Schollus Seehof Palace and Park and every where on post. we still want to go on the boat ride and also go to the garden show they are having here in bamberg. i also want to go to a couple other towns here that are within an hour drive. i love having my mom here and its making the time go by fast, but i think this deployment thing will sink in way more once she leaves.
I'm thinking about going home in either September or October ... months that are not high priority to travel but i really don't know if i want to fly with the boys by my self. we will see what happens. well below ill post some pictures from Nana's visit.
from top left to right... Nana and the boys down town, nana and the boys at Engineer Lake, Nana and the boys as Saint Michael's, Nana and the boys at the Bamberg Dome, the boys at the Seehof, Nana and the boys at Alternburg fortress.
since Nana has been here we have been every where in Bamberg and trying to get out of bamberg for a bit but the dang rain has proven to be an issue. my house is also very clean and for those of you that don't know me, I'm not a clean freak AT ALL! Ive taken Nana and the boys to down town bamberg, the Bamberg Dome, Saint Michael's church, Altenburg fortress, Schollus Seehof Palace and Park and every where on post. we still want to go on the boat ride and also go to the garden show they are having here in bamberg. i also want to go to a couple other towns here that are within an hour drive. i love having my mom here and its making the time go by fast, but i think this deployment thing will sink in way more once she leaves.
I'm thinking about going home in either September or October ... months that are not high priority to travel but i really don't know if i want to fly with the boys by my self. we will see what happens. well below ill post some pictures from Nana's visit.
from top left to right... Nana and the boys down town, nana and the boys at Engineer Lake, Nana and the boys as Saint Michael's, Nana and the boys at the Bamberg Dome, the boys at the Seehof, Nana and the boys at Alternburg fortress.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
potty training and Nana's here
so i have been trying to potty train my almost 3 year old for almost a year and everyone kept telling me... he will do it when he's ready! i should have listened because today he has gone potty in the potty 5 times and has had the same DRY pull up all day! I'm so excited and i look forward to not having to buy him diapers any more! lets hope my 1.5 year old will be easier!
we set the timer and every 45 minutes we try... and all but one time he went potty. when he goes potty he gets a donut... what ever works i guess! wish us luck
on the more fun side of life. Nana (my mom) got here on the 29th and we have been going going going. sight seeing and shopping! the boys are loving nana being here and its making deployment time go by super fast! the last time my mom saw the boys Kaleb was 21 months old and Jourdon was 3 months old they are now 34 months old and 16 months old! its crazy!
i dropped the boys off at hourly care and then when and got nana from the air port when we picked them up Jourdon (the one that was only 3 months old when we left the states) ran RIGHT to her... i guess Skype time pay off!
well I'm going to go enjoy more nana time! hope you all have a good day
we set the timer and every 45 minutes we try... and all but one time he went potty. when he goes potty he gets a donut... what ever works i guess! wish us luck
on the more fun side of life. Nana (my mom) got here on the 29th and we have been going going going. sight seeing and shopping! the boys are loving nana being here and its making deployment time go by super fast! the last time my mom saw the boys Kaleb was 21 months old and Jourdon was 3 months old they are now 34 months old and 16 months old! its crazy!
i dropped the boys off at hourly care and then when and got nana from the air port when we picked them up Jourdon (the one that was only 3 months old when we left the states) ran RIGHT to her... i guess Skype time pay off!
well I'm going to go enjoy more nana time! hope you all have a good day
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
thinking out loud: no editing
Hum. again i was encouraged to write... i said i kind of like blogging, but don't know what about.... my encourager in all this, just told me write when I'm done don't edit don't delete anything just post.
they say things that are true and come from the heart are things we don't have to think about. we will see what my heart is wanting to say
On wednesday's i go to PWOC, which was REALLY moving this morning. we talked about fellowship and honestly I'm baptist so anything with fellowship and getting together involves food. well thats not all its intended to be. church is supposed to be your family... your brothers and sisters in Christ and i had that at Linden... i loved my church and miss them so much. here tho i have had a heard time "melting" in the way things are run here, but today felt good i felt moved i felt God, and it felt good. tears and joy were shared without judgement and it made this post feel like home for the first time in the 13 months we have been here.
people always ask what i pray for and i pray for my husband on a daily basis, not because he is deployed because that just happened 4 days ago but because he is a lost sinner. Me, I'm found and I'm forgiven and i accept that and trust that and love God, but Brett he's not, he thinks being a Christian is for the week and i would that after 2 deployments (and now on his 3rd) and having 2 kids he would see the miricals God does for him. So anyone reading this please pray for him.
another thing i pray about it having god help me put him first... its SO hard... i love my kids and my husband so much but its written that i have to love God more... I do i really honestly believe i do, i don't know how but i do. i am not perfect and i need help with this a lot. My boys are my world and i am not a nice mama bear when something happens to them, but God gave HIS baby boys life for me AND my boys. WOW! thats crazy... i couldn't tell me son to do that for ANYONE not even me. we all say we would lay down our life for our kids, would you? i would like to think i would... i know 100% if they need an organ and mine is in working order they can have it no matter what... i would HOPE i would block a bullet for them... but would i let people whip me and put a crown or thorns on my hear and nail me to a cross just to die? would i suffer that long for my children?? i honestly don't know... thats a lot! thank you Jesus for that love, i can't even comprehend it.
wow lots about church on my mind.
today was so beautiful, it was a little warm but there was a nice breeze and the clouds were coving the sun so it was just pleasant. took the boys to the park for a bit, went on a pretty long walk, got caught in the rain and loved it... it was like cool mist not even a sprinkle and the boys were just giggling <3 we defiantly made some memories to cherish tonight. My boys are zoo filled with love its too cute! we were at the park with some friends one of which has a 4 month baby girl, Jourdon my youngest (he's 16 months) gave her flowers, then kaleb, my oldest (he's 2.5 years) picked me some flowers.
Kaleb has just been sad and mopey since daddy left... not really eating, not sleeping well and clingy to me and I'm soaking it up... BUT Jourdon who has always been a mommies boy is NOT happy about it... he tried to pull kaleb off of me while cuddling today. ugh i wish i had more arms so this didn't happen.
well i have come to the end of my thoughts... so ill just hit the post button, hope you enjoy mis Joni! and good night moon (seeing as its 22:07 here)
Tara
they say things that are true and come from the heart are things we don't have to think about. we will see what my heart is wanting to say
On wednesday's i go to PWOC, which was REALLY moving this morning. we talked about fellowship and honestly I'm baptist so anything with fellowship and getting together involves food. well thats not all its intended to be. church is supposed to be your family... your brothers and sisters in Christ and i had that at Linden... i loved my church and miss them so much. here tho i have had a heard time "melting" in the way things are run here, but today felt good i felt moved i felt God, and it felt good. tears and joy were shared without judgement and it made this post feel like home for the first time in the 13 months we have been here.
people always ask what i pray for and i pray for my husband on a daily basis, not because he is deployed because that just happened 4 days ago but because he is a lost sinner. Me, I'm found and I'm forgiven and i accept that and trust that and love God, but Brett he's not, he thinks being a Christian is for the week and i would that after 2 deployments (and now on his 3rd) and having 2 kids he would see the miricals God does for him. So anyone reading this please pray for him.
another thing i pray about it having god help me put him first... its SO hard... i love my kids and my husband so much but its written that i have to love God more... I do i really honestly believe i do, i don't know how but i do. i am not perfect and i need help with this a lot. My boys are my world and i am not a nice mama bear when something happens to them, but God gave HIS baby boys life for me AND my boys. WOW! thats crazy... i couldn't tell me son to do that for ANYONE not even me. we all say we would lay down our life for our kids, would you? i would like to think i would... i know 100% if they need an organ and mine is in working order they can have it no matter what... i would HOPE i would block a bullet for them... but would i let people whip me and put a crown or thorns on my hear and nail me to a cross just to die? would i suffer that long for my children?? i honestly don't know... thats a lot! thank you Jesus for that love, i can't even comprehend it.
wow lots about church on my mind.
today was so beautiful, it was a little warm but there was a nice breeze and the clouds were coving the sun so it was just pleasant. took the boys to the park for a bit, went on a pretty long walk, got caught in the rain and loved it... it was like cool mist not even a sprinkle and the boys were just giggling <3 we defiantly made some memories to cherish tonight. My boys are zoo filled with love its too cute! we were at the park with some friends one of which has a 4 month baby girl, Jourdon my youngest (he's 16 months) gave her flowers, then kaleb, my oldest (he's 2.5 years) picked me some flowers.
Kaleb has just been sad and mopey since daddy left... not really eating, not sleeping well and clingy to me and I'm soaking it up... BUT Jourdon who has always been a mommies boy is NOT happy about it... he tried to pull kaleb off of me while cuddling today. ugh i wish i had more arms so this didn't happen.
well i have come to the end of my thoughts... so ill just hit the post button, hope you enjoy mis Joni! and good night moon (seeing as its 22:07 here)
Tara
Monday, June 25, 2012
im sick of POOP!
what is it about a bath that makes little boys poop!?!? id say i at least clean out the bath 4 times a week because someone pooped in it during their bath. its ALWAYS Jourdon. When Kaleb was that age he maybe pooped in the bath like 4 times total... Jourdon has easily reached 40 times and I'm tired of it! its nasty and i have disaffect everything and give the boys a song bath on the patio... what am i going to do if he is still doing this in the winter!
okay end rant thats all this was but geesh anyone else have an issue with kids pooping in the bath all the time!?!?!?
on a different subject i went to the gym today for the first time in like 10 days so that felt good and i got some of my pictures in the mail which = $$$ and we all know thats a good thing
4 more days and my mom will be here! I'm uber excited just wish i could go back home with her!
okay end rant thats all this was but geesh anyone else have an issue with kids pooping in the bath all the time!?!?!?
on a different subject i went to the gym today for the first time in like 10 days so that felt good and i got some of my pictures in the mail which = $$$ and we all know thats a good thing
4 more days and my mom will be here! I'm uber excited just wish i could go back home with her!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Encouragement
first of all I'm SO confused by this blogger thing... they changed it so much from the last time i was on here I'm not sure I put the title of my blog in the right sport or the title of this post lol. anyway i was encouraged to start blogging again. My response was i am an awe full writer, to which they replied its not for anyone else but you. So here I am
My name is Tara and I'm Married to Brett an SPC in the united States military and we are currently stationed over seas in Germany. Well My husband left for his 3rd deployment on Saturday leaving me in a different country then my family with my 2.5 year old son Kaleb and my 15 month old Jourdon.
the first time that he deployed we were dating / engaged and and i had 3 jobs and school work to keep me busy... the second time by oldest was only 10 days old when he left and this time well you know cuz i already told you. anyway Kaleb is now old enough to know that daddy is not here and its hard to get him to understand that he won't be here in the morning either.
he has a daddy doll:
which he tells good night too and gives kisses to and even tries to feed him... its cute but hard to watch. its only been 2 days and i think Ive got this (or at least i tell my self that)
My name is Tara and I'm Married to Brett an SPC in the united States military and we are currently stationed over seas in Germany. Well My husband left for his 3rd deployment on Saturday leaving me in a different country then my family with my 2.5 year old son Kaleb and my 15 month old Jourdon.
the first time that he deployed we were dating / engaged and and i had 3 jobs and school work to keep me busy... the second time by oldest was only 10 days old when he left and this time well you know cuz i already told you. anyway Kaleb is now old enough to know that daddy is not here and its hard to get him to understand that he won't be here in the morning either.
he has a daddy doll:
which he tells good night too and gives kisses to and even tries to feed him... its cute but hard to watch. its only been 2 days and i think Ive got this (or at least i tell my self that)
that day (saturday) started off bad well because he left in the morning, then after the busses pulled away and i wiped away the tears my car decided to throw a fit and not turn on so i walked home. luckily i have good friends and they fixed it within the hour.
today was okay i had a photo shoot (I'm a photographer) so that kept me busy and then i took some pics of my boys... haha writing this I'm thinking wow this has been a LONG day but it is midnight here... i get that (staying up late) from my dad! anyway after my shoot the boys and I came home ate lunch we ALL took a nap, because well you see i took my PM allergy meds this morning instead of my AM ones so i was having issues keeping my eyes open while editing pictures. then after nap i took some pics of them for daddy and family and then just hung out the rest of the day... i felt like staying in sweat pants.
My mom is coming to visit on friday so the rest of the week will consist of cleaning so that her OCD self won't clean the whole time she's here and she can enjoy her grand babies and germany.
well thats all i have to say about that. ill try to blog at least 3 times a week (cough cough JONI, you better keep your end of the deal here) Below ill post some pics that go with what i talked about:
Here is a pic from my shoot today: 
and here are the pictures of my boys i took today. the first one is Kaleb and the Second one is Jourdon:
Well thats all for now I'm going to TRY and get some sleep in my empty bed. Good night all!
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