Hum. again i was encouraged to write... i said i kind of like blogging, but don't know what about.... my encourager in all this, just told me write when I'm done don't edit don't delete anything just post.
they say things that are true and come from the heart are things we don't have to think about. we will see what my heart is wanting to say
On wednesday's i go to PWOC, which was REALLY moving this morning. we talked about fellowship and honestly I'm baptist so anything with fellowship and getting together involves food. well thats not all its intended to be. church is supposed to be your family... your brothers and sisters in Christ and i had that at Linden... i loved my church and miss them so much. here tho i have had a heard time "melting" in the way things are run here, but today felt good i felt moved i felt God, and it felt good. tears and joy were shared without judgement and it made this post feel like home for the first time in the 13 months we have been here.
people always ask what i pray for and i pray for my husband on a daily basis, not because he is deployed because that just happened 4 days ago but because he is a lost sinner. Me, I'm found and I'm forgiven and i accept that and trust that and love God, but Brett he's not, he thinks being a Christian is for the week and i would that after 2 deployments (and now on his 3rd) and having 2 kids he would see the miricals God does for him. So anyone reading this please pray for him.
another thing i pray about it having god help me put him first... its SO hard... i love my kids and my husband so much but its written that i have to love God more... I do i really honestly believe i do, i don't know how but i do. i am not perfect and i need help with this a lot. My boys are my world and i am not a nice mama bear when something happens to them, but God gave HIS baby boys life for me AND my boys. WOW! thats crazy... i couldn't tell me son to do that for ANYONE not even me. we all say we would lay down our life for our kids, would you? i would like to think i would... i know 100% if they need an organ and mine is in working order they can have it no matter what... i would HOPE i would block a bullet for them... but would i let people whip me and put a crown or thorns on my hear and nail me to a cross just to die? would i suffer that long for my children?? i honestly don't know... thats a lot! thank you Jesus for that love, i can't even comprehend it.
wow lots about church on my mind.
today was so beautiful, it was a little warm but there was a nice breeze and the clouds were coving the sun so it was just pleasant. took the boys to the park for a bit, went on a pretty long walk, got caught in the rain and loved it... it was like cool mist not even a sprinkle and the boys were just giggling <3 we defiantly made some memories to cherish tonight. My boys are zoo filled with love its too cute! we were at the park with some friends one of which has a 4 month baby girl, Jourdon my youngest (he's 16 months) gave her flowers, then kaleb, my oldest (he's 2.5 years) picked me some flowers.
Kaleb has just been sad and mopey since daddy left... not really eating, not sleeping well and clingy to me and I'm soaking it up... BUT Jourdon who has always been a mommies boy is NOT happy about it... he tried to pull kaleb off of me while cuddling today. ugh i wish i had more arms so this didn't happen.
well i have come to the end of my thoughts... so ill just hit the post button, hope you enjoy mis Joni! and good night moon (seeing as its 22:07 here)
Tara
Thank you for sharing your heart hon. I'm praying for you and most definitely for Brett.
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